Feel Good Moments

If you recall, I was the most excited winner of an Elemental Memories Gratitude Bracelet a few months ago. I finally received my most wonderfully handcrafted piece of jewelry a few weeks ago and have been wearing it almost non-stop ever since. I love it LOVE it LOVE IT! If you are looking for a wonderful gift for Christmas/Mother's Day/birthday or just because the woman in your life is sheer magic, but sure to pick up one of these. Or, ladies, buy your own and delight in seeing the faces of your loved ones dangling from your wrist (er... but not in a Silence of the Lambs kind of way).

As of Wednesday, October 7th, Greg and I have been married 9 years. A few months ago, I learned that a favorite radio show, "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" would be recording in Boston on the 8th and I went online to buy tickets. The best seats I could find available were practically in the rafters, so I knew the show was nearly sold out. Without consulting Greg, I bought the non-refundable tickets and thought I would surprise him. The surprise was on me when I went to write the date on our calendar and saw that Greg had marked out the week for being in San Antonio at a conference. So much for best intentions. But, my inlaws were able to babysit so I arranged to meet up with a friend for dinner and the show.

That morning Sawyer had one of his physical therapy sessions. I really like his therapist overall, but today I received a mini-lecture on redirecting Sawyer's negative behavior with positive actions (i.e. don't tell him "no"). And while I don't necessarily disagree with her, when he is in the middle of a potentially dangerous activity -- in this case, climbing on top of a table-- I give him my no-nonsense voice and tell him to stop what he is doing. I don't know when telling your child "no" became akin to beating him with a leather belt, but apparently I stepped outside the accepted laws of good parenting and received a talkin' to. In my own house.

And while I cognitively knew that I should let this roll off my back, it just ate at me all day. A college friend once told me that no one could kick me in the ass like I can, and I spent most of the day recounting every infraction that makes me a substandard parent and human being. I feel that one of the hardest aspects of being a full-time parent is the whole lack of positive feedback on your parenting skills yet absolute piles of unsolicited advice on how you can improve. And especially when your child has special needs, you always feel like a failure when they are slow to achieve a goal. Maybe if I did this or made time for that or signed him up for underwater basket weaving therapy he would climb the stairs/say my name/use a fork. Getting nothing but advice without any kind of praise for weeks and months and years is, well, depressing.

I drove to the Quincy Adams train station to go into Boston. While lost in my thoughts on the platform I see a young woman walking towards me. I recognize her as one of my Teen Docents from my days at Fuller Craft. I administrated an after-school program for at-risk teen girls in Brockton where the girls used the art in the museum as a springboard for discussions on gender issues, healthy lifestyles, goal setting, etc. The teens then mentored 4th and 5th graders on similar issues. It was a great program that unfortunately was a victim to the post-9/11 economic slowdown and Bush administration. Grant funding that used to be for pregnancy prevention, girl-centered programming and after-school programs disappeared to be used for No Child Left Behind programs. I had to end the program not long after M___ graduated.

We talk while on the train: she is now a nurse and graduate student, studying to become a nurse practitioner in the field of psychiatry. She caught me up on some of the Teen Docents and where they were in life. But what really made my day, week, month was when she shared what an impact the program had on her life: how she wrote an essay on the program to get into UMass and how much it meant to her to be at the Museum most days after school. Knowing she was doing well in the world would have been enough for me; but having her tell me how my involvement in her life had a positive impact just sent me over the moon.

And while I had a fantastic night out to dinner and a show with a good friend, it was those few chance moments on the train that really made my heart soar.